A Hole in the Heart

Most men, or women, who masturbate or watch pornography excessively are not dirty, wicked, depraved, sick or mentally damaged; they are lonely. Sex “addiction” isn’t an illness, it’s an emotional state of being. At its root, there is a “hole in the heart”.

The primary energy for human existence is love. From the moment of physical birth to the last breath of life, men, women, and children crave to love and be loved. It is more vital for our existence than oxygen or food. This vast, powerful, energy is the very ‘stuff’ of life and creativity. Without it, human beings would destroy and devour one another, and the world would implode. For anyone to believe that they are separated from love creates a state of misery; in stark contrast, the direct experience of being connected to love produces a state of lasting happiness, or bliss.

Love cannot be taken for granted, nor can we presume upon it simply by reading about it, theorising over it, or resorting to love-less sex. Love has to be generated. It is a shared experience; only fully known through relationships. Relationships are love’s power stations.

Sexual relationships are one of the surest, yet most difficult ways of realising love; and probably the least understood. One of the greatest mysteries in life is sex, hence fear of love and intimacy attaches itself to sex for a multiplicity of reasons. Sex appears to offer validation of being worthy of love. Sex is the rite of passage to normality in our society. It offers the illusion of connecting people, although this is often short lived. Sex suggests fulfilment. Sex is synonymous with happiness. We are told having sex means success. We believe that it is good for us. If we don’t have sex, we feel deprived; unloved, unfulfilled, unworthy, isolated and rejected. Sex is a way human beings can try to connect directly to the energies of love, so to struggle against this possibility is to struggle against love. Being so needed, it is no wonder sex is also a primal root of anxiety, fear, guilt and shame.

Sex can be both a beautiful force for good and an ugly power of evil. It can be the means to profound joy and a cause of anguish, violence or even disease and death. What is it about sex that attracts, even obsesses, human beings to the extent that they will sacrifice everything—in some cases even their sanity—to experience it, or simply to watch others having sex on a computer screen, even for a few fleeting moments?

There is an old saying, “the most dangerous things are those that have reality, or truth, in them; things which are unreal or false fall to pieces and vanish away in time”. Sex is one such example of utter duality and profound reality. It can be so dangerous because it is so real. Sex connects us with the sources of reality in a particularly unique way. What forces and energies lay behind the strange compulsion drawing human beings towards love, sex, pornography and in particular, sexual intercourse?

 The Energies of Love

Of course, there is much more to this act of physical union between human beings than simply the transient pleasure experienced through the act itself. To resolve the problem of the purpose of sex, we must attempt to explore love. If we can understand the connections between love, sex and human beings, we may then be able to develop our understanding for improving the whole experience within intimate relationships.

Over sixty years ago, the French mystic, Pierre Teilhard De Chardin said: “The day will come when, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness…the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, humankind will have discovered fire.”

We now live in that Day which was referred to. Sad to say, Teilhard De Chardin died before his main written works were published; the wisdom behind the words lost along with the man who wrote them. The first time I came across these words my heart leapt. I sensed a strong resonance with the tone and vibration of positive hope and expectation about love that the writer conveyed in his words. In the process of harnessing the energies of love, I reasoned, surely we would also discover more about the energies of sex and its true purpose for our lives. “And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, humankind will have discovered fire”.

Imagine the benefits to the world and to humankind if love could be realised as an energy source. Ponder for a moment. What if love is energy as distinct from an emotional state? Most doctors and psychologists agree that there is a strong correlation between physical sickness, anxiety and depression and emotional states such as loneliness and despair. It is also well understood that anger and hatred, together with their devastating outward consequences, emerge out of the state of fear - the opposite polarity to love.

Sexual lovemaking is an experience of surrender and abandonment of each partner to the other; it is an experience of life beyond the ego. Lovemaking affirms that your lover is accepted and loved as a person, not just a body. Lovemaking is affectionate and it is also exciting. If needed, lovemaking can also be a ritual that enables forgiveness and reconciliation. Lovemaking is a healing experience that reminds both partners that there is nothing wrong with them. Lovemaking produces growth in each individual and in the relationship. Of course, when appropriate, it is through lovemaking that a new person may enter the world. Making love has no goal, or aim, other than to communicate and deepen love.

Imagine the healing that may be contained within the ‘energies of love’ and the positive effects upon the medical profession and the health services if those energies could be used to alleviate sickness. Imagine the peace contained within love and the saving of human lives and public spending on prisons, arms, and war if it could be harnessed. The discovery and use of this energy would bring us closer to solving some of our greatest human problems and perhaps even the mysteries of life itself.

Strength over weakness. Faith over fear.

David

P.S. Look out for my next blog: “Hypnotism”

For more articles, videos, advice, and help:

www.icasa.co.uk

https://www.youtube.com/@TheSchoolofICASA

https://www.facebook.com/TheSchoolOfICASA/

https://www.facebook.com/DavidBrownICASA/